double ristretto venti halfsoy nonfat decaf organic chocolate brownie iced vanilla doubleshot gingerbread frappuccino extra hot with foam whipped cream upside down double blended one sweet nlow and one nutrasweet and ice

yesterday an elephant accosts me. i’m sitting on the streetcar of one of those reticulated leviathans that’s so long the other end’s a beginning and i walk to the back puffing like an asp and the elephant boards at the next stop, sticks a tusk up my ass, goring my gut, humping me vigorously, singing carmen at the top of its tonsils in elephant. viscera everywhere, bipeds bellowing like idiots, the streetcar rocking better than the 60s. before i die it bites my cock off and as i find out later sells it to the loxodonta africana tribe where the cock trade’s raging. the tribe has a good laugh, palm wine flowing like the euphrates in the days of lilith and who says no to a good time? not i i say not i.

speaking of streetcars, they’re getting longer. i expect the next iteration to be so long it extends from terminus to terminus and all you have to do is board at the closest door, pay your fare and walk the appropriate way to your destination, and get off. good for everybody: public transit gets its revenues, streetcar manufacturers keep their profits, streetcar manufacturer and public transit employees keep their jobs, the public gets in shape. you could install moving sidewalks on the streetcars so walking to your destination’s easier but who would want to.

speaking of the cock trade, it’s not just elephants who can get a piece of the action. you can too! you’ll get a better price if it’s stiff so pump the dude as hot as hot as an ostrich egg before you snatch it, preserve the boner in any of the approved methods (check out deadcocks.com for a comprehensive and easy-to-follow discussion of the pros and cons of each technique), and ups it in. bonus payments for 1,000 and 5,000 milestones in a 12-month period.

go elephants

we know you are the best

snatch the cocks

and burn the human mess

trade in us

the way we trade in you

we know we’re done

(but give us one last screw!)

what the hell

it’s been a coolso ride

sell my cock –

damn, i think i died

poach an egg

poach an elephant

poach a human

oops fuck i can’t

eat the beasts

gobble up the earth

let’s eat ourselves

and see what words are worth

until i see

in calm equalities

i cannot see

i cannot see